Weirdest Election Ever!

When I first ran for public office in 1999, I was blown away at the corruption I discovered in Seattle’s election system. “How can such a liberal, enlightened city be such a social and political train wreck?” I asked myself.

Things have become more corrupt each year, culminating in Campaign 2004, when I made my fourth bid for office. I still haven’t found the time to put my notes online, but it was absolutely awesome. One might compare it to Hurricane Katrina.

And things are still deteriorating! The bastards took away our blanket primary several years ago. After mounting a bizarre campaign to encourage everyone to vote by mail as early as possible, they’re now moving to an all-mail ballot. They’re also experimenting with electronic voting machines. And they moved the date of the primary election up a month.

Who Really Runs Our Elections?

So how does voting by mail hurt democracy. I don’t know—though I have some theories. But first let’s use some logic. Who’s behind all these changes, John Q. Public or the Seattle Mafia?

The answer is obvious. Our new election system was dumped on us by the same assholes who gave us Safeco Field, QWest Field, the late St. John Stanford, Sound Transit and on and on. These people hate democracy. They’re effectively gangsters who want more freedom to screw everyone else. At the same time, they want to avoid accountability at all costs. (Remind you of George Bush and Dick Cheney?)

The bottom line is this: The people who really run Seattle (and therefore Washington State) wouldn’t alter the voting system unless it was to their advantage to do so. To put it another way, they wouldn’t change things unless the end result helped cripple one of our most important democratic institutions.

Scrapping Washington?s beloved blanket primary reduced our freedom of choice. Scheduling the general election a month earlier means activist candidates such as myself are in the news for one month less. In addition, the primary is now held in August, when many people are still on vacation.

Voting by mail gives our beloved plutocrats another level of control over elections. It makes it easy for them to lose boxes of mail-in ballots, a trick that has been used both in Washington and Florida. Keep in mind, also, that Homeland Security is now part of the U.S. Postal Service. That’s right, your friendly mailman now has the ability to track letters around the world.

Can they trace a mailed-in ballot to its source? Are the envelopes going to be bar coded per instructions issued by the CIA and Bill Gates? I don’t know.

But even if the answers are no, that can easily be changed. Once the public has become accustomed to voting by mail, the authorities could declare some sort of emergency and dictate that all mail must be made traceable to its source.

Going the Distance

Those are scary things to think about. But here’s the weirdest thing of all:

I’m going to appear on the General Election ballot on November 6.

To put it in perspective, I’ve never even come close to making it past the primary. In my first election, I faced two establishment heavyweights (Nancy “Mariners Whore” Waldman and Mary Jean Ryan) and a phony activist endorsed by the Seattle Weekly (Dwight van Winkle). During my first bid for public office, I and two other challengers were collectively overwhelmed by a fourth challenger, Arthur Hu, who received far more money and publicity than the rest of us combined.

In turn, all of us—including Hu—were but insects compared to Terry Bergeson’s (the incumbent) corrupt political machine. I came in next to last, with a one-issue idiot who championed charter schools taking second place. (That was the year Paul Allen supported the perennial charter school initiative.)

In my second bid for school board, I once again challenged the incumbent Nancy Waldman, but I received virtually no publicity compared to Green Party whore Brita Butler-Wall, who was effectively appointed to the position where she has since earned so much contempt.

When I next ran for state office, I was one of three men challenging Terry Bergeson. Guess who got all the publicity? The three women running for the seat: Terror Bergeson, former SPI Judith “I have AIDS!” Billings and the infamous right-wing anti-WASL whore Juanita Doyon.

This time around, for the first time ever, I have just one opponent—and he isn’t even an establishment heavyweight! That?s why you didn’t see my statement in the Voters Pamphlet just before the primary election. In races that feature just two candidates, both automatically advance to the general election. And I find it mind-boggling that the Seattle Mafia would allow me to go the distance.

I’m not suggesting that I have a great chance of getting elected. Whorium (my opponent, also known as Harium Martin-Morris) is getting all the media publicity (including kudos on phony activist blogs), all the corrupt endorsements and lots of contributions form sleazy people. He’s been invited to many forums I was never even aware of. The fix is in.

But it isn’t just about getting elected. Running for public office gives a candidate a chance to be heard, and the ruling class doesn’t like free speech. This time around, I’m using my campaign to publicize the Seattle Mafia. In fact, I’ve always spoken out against the corporate pimps that run Seattle, but my message is becoming more finely tuned. I’m using this campaign to promote www.seattle-mafia.org, and that can’t be good news down at the Washington Athletic Club.

But Why?

So why is the Seattle Mafia allowing me to compete in the general election when they could have easily recruited three or four establishment candidates to torpedo me in the August primary?

I haven’t a clue, though I’ve been working on a number of theories. Is it some sort of experiment? By now things are so corrupt (and the public so clueless) the corporate elite have little to fear from grassroots activists. So maybe they decided to allow a lone activist to survive until November simply to study his campaign.

Or perhaps they allowed me to remain in the campaign until November simply because they didn’t want me to appear on the ballot in August for some reason (though that’s hard to imagine).

A third theory is that they want me to validate the campaign. As I’ve already pointed out, our election process has become a total sham. But corporate apologists can ask, “How can you call it a sham when David Blomstrom made it all the way to the primary? Sheez, he was even invited to forums and interviews and given publicity by the very media he criticizes!”

And it’s true; I have been invited to at least four forums, along with some bizarre speed dating event for local candidates. The media have written a little about me, though it’s generally the same garbage they write every year. Reporters from the Seattle Times and KUOW Radio asked to interview me, but I turned them both down.

I find it very interesting that the more I reject traditional campaign customs and events, the more the establishment begs me to participate. Well, once again I am participating—on my terms.

Can’t afford to donate money to my campaign? No problem! You can join the team by simply visiting Urban Dictionary > Seattle Mafia and clicking the yellow thumbs up icon , indicating you agree with my definition. Doing so will help publicize the fact that there IS a Seattle Mafia. If you’re working for the Seattle Mafia and want to click the thumbs down icon , that᾿s fine, too. Either way, you’re helping my campaign. :)